You have every right to be angry... what happened was very, very wrong and never should have happened.

AND... you deserve to be happy and free.

You are not alone!

First of all, you are not alone. Sexual trauma is extremely prevalent across the lifespan for males and females. This may include multiple events of trauma across their lifespan starting in early childhood, during the military, and continuing into adulthood with not only sexual trauma, but also a variety of abusive and unsupportive relationships. Sexual trauma makes you feel alone, that nobody understands, and that nobody cares... but that is not true! 

Unfortunately, rates of sexual trauma are extremely high. In the military, it is estimated that 55-70% of women experience sexual harassment, and 11-48% experienced sexual assault (Goldzweig, Balekian, Rolon, Yano, & Shekelle, 2006). Several studies estimate that 1-4% of men experience sexual assault in the military (Suris & Lind, 2008). Rate of MST incurred in recent conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan range from15% to 42% for women and 1% to 12.5% for men (Kimerling, et al., 2010; Katz, et al., 2012).

Consequences of Sexual Trauma

Sexual trauma can affect nearly all systems of a person’s physical, emotional, behavioral health and well-being, relationships, finances, and happiness. Those with MST had been found to have three times the rate of depression, twice the rate of substance abuse, more obesity, smoking, myocardial infarctions, and hysterectomies before age 40 than those without MST (Frayne, et al, 1999; Frayne et. al, 2003; Hankin, et al, 1999; Skinner et al, 2000).

Sexual trauma (and MST) may lead to a cascade of negative consequences and compounding life stressors such as Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) (American Psychiatric Association, 2013). Although there are many treatments for PTSD, those with sexual trauma may suffer from many symptoms in addition to PTSD including feeling betrayed, blaming oneself, resentment, lack of closure or justice, and relationship difficulties.  Below is a sample of consequences and this is not an exhaustive list!

Some common responses to sexual trauma:

Sexual trauma in social contexts

Sexual trauma that occurs in a social context such as in a family, military, or romantic relationship, have commonalities of having to live (and work) with one's abuser. The abuse itself may happen episodically, but the threat looms continuously. In other words, the victim lives with daily concerns, "What is going to happen today? Will I be safe?" The victim cannot easily escape because someone else is controlling resources and the power to determine daily circumstances of a victims life. For example, in the military, the victim could be targeted, assigned extra duties, or awful tasks, withheld opportunities, and put into dangerous situations.  As a child or in a marriage, an abuser yields power by controlling resources (finances, or access to means such as a vehicle), and can limit opportunities or interactions with others. In all of these situations, there is an abuse of power. It behooves the perpetrator to convince the victim that it is somehow his or her fault, to deflect blame, dis-empower the victim, and make it easier for the abuser to get away with it.  Blaming the victim is used as a manipulative strategy to serve the abuser.

Regardless of what you think you did or didn't do, it

does not justify someone else's behavior.

Military Context

In order to understand MST, it is necessary to understand the context in which these events occur. Several elements may contribute such as training people in aggression, creating a male-dominated hyper-masculine culture, putting everyone under extreme physical and emotional stress, concentrating the ages between 18 to 30 years old, including a portion of people with    pre-military abuse/trauma, confining everyone to an isolated environment for a year or longer, adding alcohol for dis-inhibition, and a possible sense of lawlessness where these things are not prosecuted. Because military personnel live and work in the same environment, victims are “captive” and have to continue to work and live with their perpetrators. They may need to rely on their perpetrators or friends of their perpetrators in combat, for medical help, for promotions, or simply to do their jobs.  In some cases reporting may be helpful, but unfortunately for others, reported could lead to further abuse, being targeted, or blamed.

Re-enactments of Sexual Trauma

Most sexual trauma (civilian and military) is by a known perpetrator who is either opportunistic or works to gain the trust of a victim (e.g., offers a drink, ride home, help, or friendship). This makes it easy to coax the victim into a vulnerable situation for ST. Afterwards, the victim must not only deal with a sexual violation but also betrayal of trust. The relationship with the perpetrator must be renegotiated as well as all of the relationships connected to the perpetrator. This contributes to victims of ST blaming themselves, not disclosing what happened, and feeling isolated and alone.

This may be a contributing factor explaining Fontana and Rosenheck’s (1998) finding that service members were four times more likely to develop PTSD from sexual trauma than from combat.